How to deal with people

There are many ways which enable you to succeed in dealing with people and winning their hearts. By that, you can lead them, through love, to spirituality, as the Bible says: “And he that wins souls is wise.” (Prov. 11:30)

1. In your own life, present the ideal that people are longing for.

2. Do not seek what people have, and they will love you. Do not make others feel that you are their rival who wants to take what they possess or what they are trying to obtain.

3. Endure others’ weaknesses and win them by your patience, forgiveness and an open-heart. They will surely regret what they have done to you when they sit by themselves.

4. Praise others and make them aware of your appreciation. Make them feel that you know their good deeds and admire them.

5. Respect others and treat everyone politely, not only the elders or those you are obliged to regard, but also the young and those who are younger and lower in grade than you.

6. Work for building people, not destroying them.

7. Do not repeatedly rebuke people, and if you have to do it, try not to hurt or mistrust anyone. Do not pick on them for a word or action and avoid making them feel that you stand out as a critic or an enemy to them.

8. Find excuses for others and try your best to defend them in a rightful way, not through hypocrisy.

9. Be always ready to give and sacrifice and whoever you can’t help, offer him a nice word, a smile, or a real compliment. Be up to your duties to all without failing.

10. Treat people with modesty and humility, delicacy and gentleness. Gentleness is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit as the Apostles say in Gal 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness… ” 

11. Understand people and help them to understand you, quietly and with a good spirit. By doing this, you will be able to live with them in mutual understanding, love and peace.

12. Share in people’s joys and sorrows, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. ” (Rom. 12:15) Do not miss a chance to comfort people’s hearts.

12. Share in people's joys and sorrows, "Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. " (Rom. 12:15) Do not miss a chance to comfort people's hearts.

— Pope Shenouda III